** spoiler alert ** What a powerful book. A smart girl would probably wait to write anything about it until she's properly digested it. However; this girl will be thinking about the contents for a long while but feels compelled to write a little something having so freshly finished & closed the covers.
For now, I will say that I thought this would be a difficult book to read (and depressing) because of the subject matter but because J.D. Vance is such a gifted writer, I found myself totally riveted to his story. I can relate to his upbringing (in some ways, not all) but the areas I could, hit me at heart level. I found myself laughing at some of the circumstances he describes and crying at others. I never expected it to be so emotional, but it was. I "get" when he says his culture and socio economic level from childhood have never left him. It's constantly challenging to overcome a difficult upbringing and parts of it seep back into your life even when you're doing your best to keep the "demons" tamped down. J.D. says he "made" it because of the other people in his life (unable to rely on his Mom & Dad) and that is something I know myself to be true. Thank God he had every single person he writes about who helped him along the way. We all need that & as he says, the children who don't have extended family, a friend, mentor, or whoever, for support are the ones most likely to fall thru the cracks. He doesn't offer up any easy "insider" answers, but there are a lot of insightful commentaries on gov't policies, divorce rates, etc., and how they affect the current situation in the community of his birth.
The thing that resonated so strongly with me is when he was relating how vital social networking was in the success of his upward mobility. More than getting into the right college or doing well in classes. I think that's the huge takeaway and something we often forget. If you have "made" it, give a hand up. I personally don't think I took advantage of my college career counselor or professors the way J.D. learned to do (once he realized how valuable they were to reaching his goals.) It makes so much sense thinking about it because we all have networks within our own class, but trying to navigate in a different class, with zero contacts, can be like living in a foreign country without speaking the language. Hugely important!!!!!
I have to write the following quote down just for my own personal documentation ~ disregard it if you happen to be reading & it doesn't have meaning for you:
"People like Brian and me don't lose contact with our parents because we don't care; we lose contact with them to survive. We never stop loving, and we never lose hope that our loved one will change. Rather we are forced, either by wisdom or by the law, to take the path of self-preservation."
Rising above a bad situation often requires leaving some things, people, behaviors, etc., behind. It's a tightrope walk trying to keep connected and yet move ahead at the same time. There's an inner guilt about becoming an educated 'elite' when it's in stark contrast to J.D.'s hillbilly roots & family beliefs about that faction of society. That was illuminating. I'd never thought about that aspect of achieving the 'American Dream' before. It's the ultimate goal of the underprivileged but I doubt anyone considers how actually getting there puts you at odds with everything you grew up knowing. I thought he portrayed his life very honestly and eloquently. Kudos to you J.D. Vance and thank you for sharing your life story (the good, the bad and the ugly) so that perhaps it can be useful as a learning tool and also as a window into a world some people have had the good fortune never to have been exposed.
