If you've read my last post, you've probably figured out that I'll be struggling with the loss of my brother for some time to come. Right now, I don't have the heart to write much but instead of putting the blog on hiatus (like I've done in the past after traumatic events) I thought I would try just posting some current photos. I don't know how long I'll follow this format? Until I can do better, I suppose.
Narcissi 'Flower Parade'
Hydrangea 'Hortensia Early Blue'
Series of Bleeding Heart photos:
'Frizzle Sizzle' Pansy Basket ~ really beautiful right now.
Peony Flowering Tulip 'Black Hero'
Tulip 'Pink Star'
Alliums & Peony buds
Bullock's Orioles back in the garden
Many thanks to each and every one of you who have reached out to me. Your comments, cards, calls, etc., have touched me immeasurably. It will take a long time to heal. Like I said before, it's a loss for the rest of my life. Neither my brother or I were married so I guess we leaned on each other more than a lot of siblings would. I'm only at the beginning stages of figuring out how to live without him. I start to think I'm okay then something will happen ~ like scrolling thru my phone & seeing his name/number & suddenly, I'm right back where I started. Lately, I feel like I'm getting it together on the outside but inside, just under the surface, there are always tears. His death is one in a series of losses over the past few years for me and some difficult times as well. After each one I have said I needed the garden more than ever. There is no time that is truer than now. Thank you in advance for your gentleness, compassion and understanding.
I wish I could do something to ease your pain. Just be very gentle with yourself and take all the time you need to heal. There is no time limit on grieving. I'm glad you put up these beautiful photos and I hope you are taking time to get out in your yard and dig - best therapy ever. Love you my friend!
Posted by: Dana | May 14, 2015 at 04:08 PM
My heart breaks for you friend on your loss. There is just not enough words to say when something like this happens in ones life.It takes time sounds so silly but I guess it is right and everyone has their own way of getting through sorrow. I pray God will ease your pain and hurt.
Your spring garden is looking so beautiful and the Narcissi 'Flower Parade' is gorgeous. Hugs my friend.
Posted by: Lona | May 16, 2015 at 05:28 PM
I wish there were words to comfort you with. Just know you're not alone. And I hope you grieve all you want, however you need.
Posted by: Victoria | May 17, 2015 at 07:59 AM
Thinking of you and sending healing energies your way! xoxo
Posted by: Gail | May 22, 2015 at 05:54 AM
Dear Kathleen, thank you for sharing your sadness, alongside the photos of your beautiful blossoms, which truly are a wonderful tribute to your brother. please know I think of you quite often. I will continue in this circumstance. I also think of you because of our "conversations" and exchanges over the years.
Posted by: Shady gardener | May 26, 2015 at 09:47 PM
It's still hard for me to imagine he is gone. His address and number are still in my phone. His name is still on my prayer list. I can't seem to bring myself to delete either one. I am so glad he said that talking to me made his feel so much better. I'm not sure why but I'm glad God used me to give him a safe place to talk. We used to have LONG phone calls. Sometimes 3 hours! ( I'm thankful for my bluetooth) lol! I will miss those calls. We will put you on our prayer list too.
Posted by: Nancy Anderson | May 27, 2015 at 06:37 PM