For those of you who read my blog, maybe you've wondered at the long unexplained absence?? I really should have dropped in for an update but my heart was so heavy & posting on the blog seemed so trivial while swirling in the vortex of grief.
To my friends who don't know ~ I lost a dear member of my family on Dec 6th ~ my favorite Aunt Shirley. We always had a very special bond ~ from my earliest childhood memory, growing stronger thru early adulthood & no doubt continuing beyond her death. She played such a pivotal role in my life, I'm still reaching for the phone & reeling all over again when I can't connect.
These past three years have been rough, an emotional roller coaster ~ especially 2012. She was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer in Dec 2008 and fought a battle Hercules would be proud of.... For a time it appeared she had won but the relief & reprieve was short lived. In May of 2012 she was admitted to hospice (now you know why the blog suffered last year) then came the call I'd been dreading.
It seemed like a double whammy, losing her right before the holidays like that. Needless to say, they were memorable for all the wrong reasons. Thank goodness I had gotten a head start on the decorating & shopping or things would have been pretty dismal for my daughter.
Now I'm trying to look forward, forcing myself to go thru the motions of daily life & hoping if I do it enough, I'll feel like I'm actually back to living it.
Peppermint Candy Cane Sugar Scrub I made for holidays gifts ~ get the recipe here.
Thank you to everyone for the Christmas wishes. I'm sorry I didn't get to your blogs to return them ~ I just wasn't (and still am not very much) on the computer ~ except for Pinterest. Pinning has been my salvation throughout this process ~ a happy, enjoyable activity where I momentarily forget my sorrow & escape to a more beautiful life. Whatever it takes, right??
Thanks also for letting me share this very personal post. Part of "behaving my way back to normal" will be trying to get back to posting. Bear with me please...
Gardening is usually my healing balm & I need it more than ever now....
I am so sorry to hear of your loss Kathleen. It is so hard to lose those we love. I think it gets easier with time but in truth the loss is always with us. Take care and God Bless.
Posted by: Lona | January 14, 2013 at 09:21 AM
My thoughts are with you. I found writing about my grief when I lost my sister very helpful. Sometimes I turned off the comments as I couldnt deal with it but then I had lots of emails from people who found it helpful too.
Grief is tough, it creeps up on you and takes you unawares at the strangest of times. You just have to go with the flow and not expect too much. Remember the good times.
Posted by: Helen | January 14, 2013 at 12:55 PM
So sorry to hear this, Kathleen. I had been wondering about and missing your posts, and now I know the reason. We will always be here when you feel ready to return to posting. Hugs, thoughts, and prayers. Beth
Posted by: PlantPostings | January 14, 2013 at 01:24 PM
Absolutely whatever it takes. I feel your grief.
Posted by: Victoria | January 14, 2013 at 02:40 PM
Oh Kathleen, I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt. Don't push yourself... the last thing you need is any more stress or pressure. Wish we lived closer... I'd love to stop by with dinner for you and Janae. Sending hugs.
Posted by: Alice Golden | January 14, 2013 at 05:27 PM
I'm so sorry Kathleen. I hope your garden this season will give you comfort. And thanks for the scrub recipes! I have a large container of coconut oil just waiting to be used for something.
Posted by: RobinL | January 14, 2013 at 08:02 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your aunt. It's very hard to lose someone special.
Posted by: Sweetbay | January 14, 2013 at 08:37 PM
I'm so sorry you've felt so sad. It's hard to deal with the loss of someone close. I'm glad to see you again on your lovely blog. Jan
Posted by: Plantingnatives.blogspot.com | January 15, 2013 at 03:25 PM
So sorry for your loss Kathleen.
Posted by: tina@inthegarden | January 15, 2013 at 05:36 PM
Whenever you are ready Kathleen, we will be here. So sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Janet, The Queen of Seaford | January 16, 2013 at 08:58 AM
I am so sorry to hear of your loss Kathleen! Ovarian cancer is a tough battle, that sadly, is not often won. I don't begrudge all the support for the fight against breast cancer gets, but I often wish there were more opportunities to donate to research on ovarian cancer. Take care Kathleen!
Posted by: Jennifer | January 17, 2013 at 10:12 AM
Hi, Kathleen. Losing special people in our lives is very, very hard . . To say the least.
You are one terrific person, and you will get through this. You have loving family and friends, and you have us -out here.
Know that your expressions of grief resonate with many others; myself included. Sometimes it's the slow letting go that gives way to a bit of grieving at a time.
I care. Please continue to blog. I'm making the effort myself. Sometimes it helps a lot.
Posted by: Shady Gardener | January 17, 2013 at 07:19 PM
So very sorry for your loss dear. I'm glad you could make your daughter's Christmas joyful and that you have found some relief from grief looking at beautiful photos. Hold those memories of good times with your aunt close. Hugs to you. gail
Posted by: Gail | January 20, 2013 at 06:48 AM
Hi Kathleen. I have been thinking about you girl and I hope you are getting along well. Prayers.
Posted by: Lona | February 02, 2013 at 09:06 AM