A very personal and sad post today, one I prayed desperately I wouldn't have to write.
A while back I posted (after a blogging break) that I had been absent because I was trying to help a family member with an alcohol addiction. That person was my beloved youngest brother. It was just about two years to this day, that I even learned he was an alcoholic. Talk about being caught utterly off guard. That revelation upended and unbalanced my life. It marked a point of "no return" so to speak because, I have since learned, there is NO GOING BACK to the life that once was, after it is impacted this way.
Tragically he lost his battle and his life last night to the disease.
He was brilliant, a highly accomplished Optometrist and a sensitive, good & kind Human Being (among many other attributes.) I loved him so very much and will miss him every day for the rest of my life. I can honestly say I've never disliked anything more than I now do drug & alcohol addiction. The senseless way it takes so many lives every year and how helpless it makes those who love the person addicted is absolutely frustrating and downright cruel. I don't know what other methods can be developed to deal with this issue but the options currently available are horribly inadequate. One stint in rehab is rarely enough. My brother entered three different rehabs in the last year and a half of his life but none of them ever came close to changing his habits. As many of you are all too aware, he is not alone in that outcome.
Now my brother, my friend, is gone. My loss = his peace. The one person I thought I would go thru life with has left a monumental void, one I am certain I do not even fully realize yet. I have no choice but to take comfort in and believe that he is now bathed in Eternal Light & Love, unencumbered by the demons of this earthly world. Otherwise the grief would be too much to bear. Farewell dear Thomas, until we meet again, I always loved you and always will.